Left

I just had a patient who left while I am dilating her. I told her to go ahead and look at some glasses, I would be back with her in 10-15 mins. Take her aunt back, do the exam, come back to get the first patient and she's not there! She's gone across the street to the furniture shop (what furniture shop?) Kind of throws off my flow!

Crazy

I showed up early to work this morning for the CRAZIEST PATIENT ever. She didn't know the difference between her left and right. And then she kept on talking about walking in the mini-marathon...or it was Beth, I can't remember;)

King's Island

A 50 year old-ish patient was in the chair as high as it would go (I put it there), and then I brought it down so that we could talk. As I was doing so, she threw her hands up in the air like it was a roller coaster and said "WWEEEEEEEE." Hehe.

Meds

I had a patient today that was taking an anti-psychotic medication that is no longer available in the United States. Makes you wonder where it got it from. Maybe he has connections in Canada or something.

Vomit

Yesterday, I had a patient that was projectile vomiting in the bathroom. We could hear him up front. His girlfriend had called to say that he was going to try and get out of the exam, so don't let him leave the office. It seemed like cruel and unusual punishment to make him stay for the exam, and selfishly, I didn't want to catch whatever he had, nor did I want him to get sick on me. So we let him come back today (and he did) and all was much better.

You asked for it

You guys asked for it...I've started a blog. Here I will be able to rant about the crazies and share the cuties. Just be sure not to tell HIPAA about it. I hope you enjoy! Be forewarned: I have a gross sense of humor, so some things might not be for the weak of stomach. (PS: thanks to Nathan for the title!)